So, this weekend I attended Pride Toronto for the fourth year in a row. This is the second year that I’ve attended and been in a relationship, which definitely affects the direction my Pride takes. However, this is not about my decline into an incredibly boring person, but rather things that I saw during Pride that disturbed me.
This year I noticed an influx of people who were treating the street fair like a zoo, like people who were happily enjoying their significant others were an attraction to be gawked at. To be honest, a lot of time it felt like the Crocodile Hunter (R.I.P.) should be walking around with these people saying “Loooook, it’s a wild lesbian in their natural habitat. Let’s get closah!” I’m not sure if this was more evident to me this year, because this year I spent quite a bit more time sober than I ever have before, or simply because despite the fact that people think the political part of Pride is dead, we’ve made people feel like that is acceptable behaviour. I watched conversations of straight people where one person would point to someone and the other person would say “Oh, no, I already got a picture of that one.” And this was in reference to people who were not outlandishly dressed. Not only that but two young men came up to my friends and I and asked if they could take their picture with us. We were standing around having a conversation in the middle of the street. And people try to argue that outrageous outfits are to blame for this sort of behaviour. We were all wearing shorts and tank tops. That is not okay.
I also heard the argument that straight people should use Pride to show “Straight Pride”. And while I agree that everyone should embrace their sexuality, no matter where it falls on the Kinsey scale, I do not agree with that. Pride for me means that I feel safe enough to walk down the street holding my partner’s hand without fear of violence. It means having a few days where I don’t feel like expressing my love/affection for someone I’ve been dating for nearly two years could result in people trying to shame us, throw shade, or hurl insults at us. We still put up with “joking” comments from straight friends about our sexuality, and while I am an equal opportunity mocker, I’d like people to show some respect for my relationship. At least occasionally.
“Straight Pride” happens every minute, of every day, in every country. Straight Pride means that your partner and your children will be recognized as part of your family if you’re on your death bed. Or that your government will recognize your marriage and not deport your partner. That your country will not pass laws that not only allow, but encourage, your death.
I’m certain that this won’t change, and I am proud to say that Toronto Pride did not experience vandalism like Chicago. However, with WorldPride on its way to Toronto in 2014 I hope that people will understand that Pride is great for the economy, but it’s also important politically. I do not begrudge the presence of allies, just engagement of the festival like it is some voyeuristic show to be taken in, photographed, and looked at like we are some sort of freak show.
My love is as real, and as normal, as the relationships of the people who chose to gawk at us. Please, respect it.
whichmewillsurvive 