Degree Inflation

At the end of this year I have hopes to attend a Graduate Program at Ryerson. I’ve been having problems really realizing that I need to do well- really well- to make it into this program. I didn’t plan for this when I began university, so it seems nearly impossible that what I have done over the last few years is enough.
I hope that the program will be beneficial for me, and for people at my age it seems completely necessary to get as many degrees as possible, unfortunately. The best part about the program is that it has a practicum option, which means I will have a degree, and be able to intern at a magazine.
It’s hard for people coming out of university right now, it’s really difficult to achieve the grades while gaining experience to build your CV and resume. Degree inflation is not really doing much to make life easier. Higher education is a double-edged sword at this point.
It seems that having an undergraduate degree is not really enough, so as a student finishing with an English degree I fear that I will be unable to find a job despite the fact that I have this degree. There are plenty of people who have Master’s degrees, and lots of experience, and are unable to find work. It’s not even just finding work in your preferred field, but finding work at all.

Personally, I have found that it’s a really big struggle to juggle my school work, my job, and my extra-curriculars- I am only doing one this year, which I am incredibly thankful for. But even this is difficult. I sincerely hope that in the coming years serious changes will be made when it comes to education. It’s hard to offset the living costs that OSAP doesn’t cover, as well as trying to make sure I have enough experience to get a job. I thought Canadians were supposed to be proud of their country, and the opportunities for its citizen.

I went to Ryerson for an open house for a Master’s program. I took some pictures and tried to enjoy the evening with S. The pictures locate below are the best of the series of photos I took while we walked around Ryerson’s campus talking about our future.

Catching Up.

I feel like so much has happened in my life since the last time I updated this blog, and I suppose that is true. Since my last entry S has moved back from Toronto, and into our first ever grown-up apartment (which is outrageously overpriced, btw), we have adopted two kittens, I’ve started my fifth-and final- year of undergrad, we’ve lost a friend, and struggled with money, as well as our identities.

I kept saying that this blog was only for politics, it was not meant to be a place to share my life. However, I am realizing that it is nearly impossible to keep my personality and my life away from this blog. At this point my original intent for subject matter seems redundant. I cannot find the good in choosing only to come to this blog when a political issue coincides with time that I have to write. Instead I’d like to acknowledge how rooted my politics are in my life, because it seems counterproductive to separate the two when I feel like they are so intertwined. In the coming week I hope to update on all of the important events that have happened over the last three four months.

I hope that I will be active on this blog for the coming months.

Straight Pride?

So, this weekend I attended Pride Toronto for the fourth year in a row. This is the second year that I’ve attended and been in a relationship, which definitely affects the direction my Pride takes. However, this is not about my decline into an incredibly boring person, but rather things that I saw during Pride that disturbed me.

This year I noticed an influx of people who were treating the street fair like a zoo, like people who were happily enjoying their significant others were an attraction to be gawked at. To be honest, a lot of time it felt like the Crocodile Hunter (R.I.P.) should be walking around with these people saying “Loooook, it’s a wild lesbian in their natural habitat. Let’s get closah!” I’m not sure if this was more evident to me this year, because this year I spent quite a bit more time sober than I ever have before, or simply because despite the fact that people think the political part of Pride is dead, we’ve made people feel like that is acceptable behaviour. I watched conversations of straight people where one person would point to someone and the other person would say “Oh, no, I already got a picture of that one.” And this was in reference to people who were not outlandishly dressed. Not only that but two young men came up to my friends and I and asked if they could take their picture with us. We were standing around having a conversation in the middle of the street. And people try to argue that outrageous outfits are to blame for this sort of behaviour. We were all wearing shorts and tank tops. That is not okay.

I also heard the argument that straight people should use Pride to show “Straight Pride”. And while I agree that everyone should embrace their sexuality, no matter where it falls on the Kinsey scale, I do not agree with that. Pride for me means that I feel safe enough to walk down the street holding my partner’s hand without fear of violence. It means having a few days where I don’t feel like expressing my love/affection for someone I’ve been dating for nearly two years could result in people trying to shame us, throw shade, or hurl insults at us. We still put up with “joking” comments from straight friends about our sexuality, and while I am an equal opportunity mocker, I’d like people to show some respect for my relationship. At least occasionally.

“Straight Pride” happens every minute, of every day, in every country. Straight Pride means that your partner and your children will be recognized as part of your family if you’re on your death bed. Or that your government will recognize your marriage and not deport your partner. That your country will not pass laws that not only allow, but encourage, your death.

I’m certain that this won’t change, and I am proud to say that Toronto Pride did not experience vandalism like Chicago. However, with WorldPride on its way to Toronto in 2014 I hope that people will understand that Pride is great for the economy, but it’s also important politically. I do not begrudge the presence of allies, just engagement of the festival like it is some voyeuristic show to be taken in, photographed, and looked at like we are some sort of freak show.

My love is as real, and as normal, as the relationships of the people who chose to gawk at us. Please, respect it.

What Does it Mean to be Self-Reliant?

“Emerson urges his readers to retain the outspokenness of a small child who freely speaks his mind because he has not yet been corrupted by adults who tell him to do otherwise. He also urges readers to avoid envying or imitating others viewed as models of perfection; instead, he says, readers should take pride in their own individuality and never be afraid to express their own original ideas. In addition, he says, they should refuse to conform to the ways of the popular culture and its shallow ideals; rather they should live up to their own ideals, even if doing so reaps them criticism and denunciation.”

While I was talking to S yesterday, she was telling me about an essay by Emerson titled Self-Reliance. She was required to read the essay for a class about suicide. She believes that this essay would speak to me because it reflects a lot of my personal beliefs. Basically the essay encourages readers to trust their own intuition rather than follow social norms. For S, this related to her need to always smile and nod while people are talking in class- even if she does not agree with them. This is a problem I do not have. Ever.

For me, the article would reflect the way that I am already living my life. The approach I take in my life is criticized. Often. By various people. I have been told that I am simply mean-spirited because I do not choose to limit the opinions that I put out there. An ex of mine says that before I believed in honesty I still lacked empathy and tact. I would argue that I am able to feel empathy, but that does not mean that I will excuse someone’s behaviour just because something bad may have happened to them. That is simply one example, but I do understand that actions have reactions, cause and effect, etc. However, I believe that we are often too quick to excuse behaviour based on these facts.

With all of that said, I am a terrible liar. I smirk, my cheeks go red, and within five seconds I will tell you that I’ve lied to you. It’s a sickness. But when it boils down to it I do not believe that I should have to censor myself to benefit someone else. I do not believe that this sort of behaviour really benefits society. But I never aim to be mean-spirited, and I will never criticize race, sexual orientation, etc. I am critical of things that people can change, but I don’t actively seek to make people feel small. I think at this point most of my friends realize that if they ask for my opinion it might not favour them, and they still ask.

However, I am not soulless. I began volunteering with older people who were mentally delayed at four years old, one of my best friends in elementary school was a boy with Down’s Syndrome. In the last two weeks I helped a woman in a wheel chair get something from a high shelf in a grocery store, and helped someone with their hands full move their suitcase. During both of these events I was given surprised looks. I find this disturbing. I know that I seem like an asshole. I am the first person to admit that I come off as a little bit abrasive, in the way that I have a hard time hiding how I feel. (Generally if I do not like people they will know it. This is apparently not how I should function. Somehow it would be better if I lied to people.) But I still believe in human decency. I believe in being truthful, not cruel.

Sometimes I just wish people would give me a little bit of credit. But, if there’s anyone out there? What does self-reliance mean to you? How often do you stick to prescribed social expectations?

To Blog or Not to Blog.

I bet Doogie Howser never had this problem.

Every time I approach blog writing I feel like I am about to write a three hour stats exam (note: or how I imagine that would feel. Thank you, Arts degree). I get a little nervous, a little queasy, and I start to wonder how I should go about writing it. I’m always worried that people will find my blog uninteresting because I have been unable to find a distinct theme. Or that by not having a really obvious common thread it will be lacking something, or worse yet because I don’t dole out my unsolicited opinion about everything ever, I am really missing the point of blogging. I’m worried that perhaps I will give of myself too freely, and after watching He’s Just Not That Into You–what a cinematic gem– I’ve learned that that is something society frowns upon.

It seems to me that blogging can be what you make of it. Somehow, people have created careers out of this, and while I am envious, I find this to be a strange phenomenon. I often hate writing; I enjoy the finished product. Though I seem to be able to write quickly, there are times when the idea of putting myself into writing completely seems like the most difficult task in the world. Though my far from easy childhood would tell me otherwise. I suppose what I struggle with is the notion that blog writing could change the world. It feels sort of limiting. I feel as though my politics should be more radical or maybe more real-world based. However, I am then reminded that I am very vocal about my politics in public and that usually gets me into trouble.

So, I am left wondering. How much of myself do I write into this blog? Should I simply post reactions to current issues/events, or should I include little pieces of myself? Perhaps I am over-thinking.

R.I.P. Gil Scott-Heron

I haven’t written since the unfortunate Conservative majority win in Canada. Politics, specifically Canadian politics, have disappointed me. But I digress.

In this post I’d like to recognize Mr. Gil Scott-Heron for his contributions to Civil Rights, and rap music.
Despite the obvious troubles he faced with drugs and alcohol, Mr. Scott-Heron’s contribution to the progression of Black American spoken word, rap, and literature is undeniable. He had an undergraduate degree in English from Lincoln University, an M.A. in Creative Writing from Johns Hopkins University, published a novel at 19, and was inspired by Langston Hughes. In my books that makes a fairly phenomenal person.
And I hope that this incredibly sad occasion will lead to rekindled interest in the man, his writing, and his politics.
I believe that very few young black people are willing to do what those before us did, and rarely stop to think about the people who made things possible for us.

Rest in Peace, Mr. Scott-Heron. The revolution will not be televised.

ELECTION DAY.

I’m currently freezing my butt off at work; we’ve turned the boilers off so the house is outrageously cold. So cold, in fact, that I am shivering.
Today after work I am biking down to my voting location to cast a vote for the New Democratic Party.

I have voted every chance that I’ve had since I turned 18, and cannot understand the apathetic mentality that a lot of people my age have. This year, because of my encouragement, my mom and sister are voting. This is the first time I can ever remember my mom voting. I am so proud that she is finally going to do it, and that she has found enough benefits in the NDP to break her non-voting streak.

This election is strange, and I had never anticipated that things would go the way they seem to be going. I have voted NDP since I was 18. I believe in Jack Layton; I believe in the morals of the party. Most people have not agreed with me.

However, during the course of this election people across the nation seem to have turned their back on the Liberals, and in Quebec have abandoned the Bloc in favour of the NDP, as well. According to most opinions polls the NDP are at about 30% and the Conservatives are at about 33%. I am really anxious to see how this turns out, though I really hope enough people come out to support the NDP, because Stephen Harper is one of the worst things to happen to this country. And this election could really change the direction of this country.

SlutWalk Toronto

Like a true student I figured that today, while I’m in the middle of writing a paper that’s over a week late, and have 5000 words to write on the other side of the horizon, would be the perfect time for me to get back to blogging. Naturally. Who needs an 80% average?

This weekend I took part in the SlutWalk Toronto, it was my first protest of any kind, which I find rather surprising given my long history of trying to “stick it to the man.” While I do not personally claim the word “slut” as my own, and probably never will, the message behind the walk is something that I stand behind fully. While I can understand why many people disagree with the word, what I think they should have a bigger problem with is “slut-shaming.” Slut-shaming has been defined as the shaming/attacking of women who choose to have one or more sexual partners. Slut-shaming may also include shaming for embracing their sexuality in any way.

I am a “prude.” In my younger days I found that word to be shaming. I was ashamed that I had never felt the need to have a lot of sexual partners. I was ashamed that I was committed to people for most of my teen years, and thus was unable to engage in promiscuous behaviour. And I was embarrassed, because I thought that others would see the small number of partners I’ve had and believe that it is because I am unattractive (which is often how I felt). But what my choice to have so few partners really meant for me was indicative of my inability to understand the choice to give a part of yourself to someone so freely. However, this is not rooted in gender. This is something that I question about everyone. I am always curious about the idea of free sexual encounters. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy sex, and currently have a very healthy sex life. But I was never able to engage in random (or not so random) sexual encounters. I’ve had one one night stand, and while I do not regret it, I also don’t remember very much of it.

While I believe that any person is entitled to make their own choices I always wonder about safety, about positive sexual experiences, and about loving your body and yourself before allowing someone else to see you as a sexual being. That is what has always been important to me. And that is something I always hope is true for people engaging in these activities; that they are taking positive experiences away from them.

But I digress. SlutwalkToronto was a huge success in my mind. Women should not feel guilty for dressing a certain way, and the excuses that are being created for men need to stop. If we are living in a society that prides itself upon being civilized then there is absolutely no excuse for police officers to tell young women not to dress like “sluts.” People should worry less about appearances and worry more about creating healthy attitudes about sexuality that could greatly change the frequency of sexual assaults. I believe that the promotion of real sexuality, not an appearance that is perceived as sexualized or willing, would greatly change the way that people interact with one another.

And that’s what the SlutWalk was about. When it boils down to it it was not an issue of sexual liberty, or free love, but rather the ability of women to feel safe wearing what they want. There is no such thing as an invitation to rape. And the insistence of society to blame women for horrendous acts committed against them is completely unacceptable. If the walk created visibility for the unjust behaviour coming from the Police Dept and other members of society then I’m glad that it’s doing something.

I hope that the backlash against feminism and being sex positive will fizzle out soon. The rise of puritanical values is disturbing, and not very promising for the safety of young women.

Are Hierarchies a Necessary Evil?

I had planned to write a post on the last day of Black History Month, but my hard drive crashed that night. Great timing. I am not going to write now what I had planned to write then, because I do not believe that it will have the same feeling it would have had if I’d written in that day.

Last week Senate passed the decision to start class two days earlier than they ever have, effectively cutting two days from Introductary Seminar Week. The vote? 14-14 tie. The President broke that tie by voting in favour. All of the student reps and most of the faculty voted against. One College Principal voted against his students. I understand democracy, but I do not value a democracy that undermines what students want. Some people believe, from a sociological perspective, that hierarchies are a necessary evil. That in order to have a functioning society someone must be at the top and someone must be at the bottom. But arguably, in a University setting, when students are paying the salaries of upper-Admin who do not contribute to our education in a first hand way things should be approached as a sort of partnership.
I feel like I’ve been obsessed with Trent recently. More than I usually am. I’m really worried that all of the work I’ve put in during the last 12 months will go to hell. My VP is not prepared for the role, and it’s not that she’s a bad person, she just has not experienced enough around the university.

On another note, recently I’ve been wondering about the percentage of University students who face exhaustion, mental breakdowns, suicide attempts, etc. around this time of year. Instead of just wondering I decided to look it up and found out that 30% of students have anxiety/depression, and 1 in 10 students will have suicidal thoughts. Seems about right.

I suppose I should mention that at this point I have slept a total of one hour in the last 30. I have to work for 1.5 more hours, and honestly, there is no end in sight. Not until April 7th, anyway.

I am not sure why I thought working 12 hours a week, having 10 hours of class, four office hours, 2 hour Sunday meetings, 20 hours of Production twice a month, and countless other committee meetings was a good idea. That 80% average I am striving for seems further and further away. I guess that’s the curse of extra-curriculars. It seems nearly impossible to be as involved as I am and still hit the 80% mark.

…I just realized that I cannot even give this post a proper conclusion. Because I need to get back to work. Oh, university, you are a bitch.